Today the pain in my body is excruciating. Ankles, legs and side.Absolutely horrible and getting worse and worse. I walked downtown to save paying $1.50 for bus fare.(Like the post office, the transportation company is in debt.) The weather was warm and the sun was bright with a blue sky overhead. Like Spring outside.
I am still collecting unemployment. I have applied for work but get NO REPLIES. No one has stepped forward to help at all. Schenectady does not have alot of work to begin with and as I have no car(many jobs are in the suburbs), I am not eligible for many opportunities. I cannot waste my time doing mindless tasks that do not pay anything.
I get no Food Stamps or welfare. My credit cards take up most of my disposable income (not that they care) and so I have little left for things like food,personal items and small necessities.
Today, and everyday, I posted to my blogs. My connection with the outside world. My cohorts are retiring and many have moved away, or died. Many are ill and suffer with maladies like mine. Getting older is scary and lonesome. It is impoverishment.
I think of suicide often as a way out. There is very little to be happy about.

A lifetime of work has left me in pain and unhappy. I started working at fourteen and have not stopped since. I have cared for many children and elderly people. Now there is no one for me. Life makes no sense.